A new report finds more dying from drug overdoses than car accidents.
This post makes my heart smile.
Less than a year ago we were the ones in the ER talking to Addiction Campuses to seek further help for John’s recovery. Fast forward 10 months and now he is speaking at one of Addiction Campuses’ centers about being in support of a life saving legislation for people struggling with mental health and substance abuse issues alongside Mississippi State Senator David Parker.
I am glad to see people speaking loudly for such a silent epidemic. Sobriety is a beautiful thing.
– Sarah Mabry
Our Mabry Living room has been a place where we have RE-corded many of our memories. There have been RE-actions to unforgettable moments like when we were RE-warded with healthy children and brought them home from the hospital. It is where we have RE-told joyous moments like seeing the kids scamper to the Christmas tree on Christmas morning. It’s here where we can RE-count funny moments like when we thought our dog ran off with a dirty diaper and ate the goods inside (he didn’t, thank goodness). And, there have been seemingly irREconcilable moments such as telling the kids that daddy is going to be gone for their birthdays and Christmas to seek help following a RE-lapse.
When John RE-gressed in his sobriety this time last year and RE-admitted into one of Addiction Campuses’ great facilities, called The Treehouse, I knew I had to stay strong for myself and my kids. It wasn’t a choice to crumble. I HAD to RE-evaluate new ways to keep finding HOPE and JOY. Art and creativity have always been things I’ve RE-turned to as therapeutic RE-leases. So, what better way to RE-kindle hope and joy than RE-decorating my family room with my artwork?
I wanted to RE-create a room full of light, full of hope,full of encouragement and beaming with love. I started by painting my walls with a RE-freshing color, appropriately called RE-flection, by Sherwin Williams. This lightened the room drastically. With all the decorations down and new paint RE-applied to the walls, I had the blank canvas I needed to RE-create a new beginning for my room, but also for RE-newing my hope and RE-igniting my joy. It was time to RE-create, RE-fresh, RE-juvenate, RE-do and RE-claim ME through my creativity and love for decor.
While John RE-entered treatment, I spent time RE-evaluating “Sarah.” I RE-cognize that through the busyness of raising three kids and the RE-occurance of addiction in our marriage, I often lose pieces of myself. To RE-engage with my innermost self, I RE-flected on these simple questions:
- What brings me JOY? Dogs, kids, art, family, nature
- What brings me HOPE? Scripture, anything angel themed- white feathers, angel wings, halos, rainbows.
- How would I describe my FAITH? RE-newing my trust in GOD when times are difficult and trying to obey his RE-direction of my continually unfolding life.
- What does the word LOVE mean to me? This is a very difficult one to RE-call when your world gets flipped upside down. I try to RE-member that, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
I wanted to RE-create an atmosphere that incorporated my answers to the above questions through RE-decorating. My goal for this project was to RE-build and RE-store my broken spirit by RE-designing our Mabry Living room.
- I created a cozy dog bed for my RE-scue pups by placing a sheep wool rug under our coffee table. I mixed and match pillow covers from Pottery Barn (sale rack of course).
- I RE-purposed a stick I found on a nature walk as a statement piece for my mantel. I decorated it by stringing multi colored beads from it. The teal green jar looks like beach glass. It RE-minds me of my summers spent hunting for colored glass “treasures” along Lake Michigan. My abstract painting was inspired from the Michigan beach where I spend my summers, which I often call, “Heaven on Earth”. Can you tell I love Michigan beaches?!?
- I designed the LOVE sign to RE-mind me of the 1 Corinthians scripture.
- My angel feather painting allows me to RE-call that God’s angels are always watching over me. I RE-placed our old entertainment center with one from Wayfair.com.
- I REad the following quote and knew I had to make an arrow themed piece of work: “An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. When life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means it’s going to launch you into something great. So just focus, and keep aiming.” This quote RE-news my HOPE for better times ahead.
- Canvas painting with a family rule: “As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”Joshua 24:15. I found this piece at Hobby Lobby. I RE-placed the mirror with mirrors from Ballard Design.
- Angel candle holders from John’s grandmother, plus a picture of Michigan that says, “Happy Place,” very fitting.
- I added a shell covered end table (Home Goods), an ottoman (West Elm), and changed out our old rug for a new jute rug (Wayfair.com).
- I found these angel wings at Hobby Lobby. They were turquoise but I RE-painted them white.
Now for the fun part, BEFORE and AFTER pictures. Who doesn’t love RE-decorating transformation pictures??
Like RE-making an old, darker room light again, we have the ability to chose to RE-invent ourselves. If these walls could talk, my HOPE is that they would tell you a story of continued RE-commitment, RE-demption and the RE-vival of a soul that has RE-ceived, through God’s grace, the willingness to RE-main open to RE-conciling a marriage following RE-lapse.
Yesterday I had a very encouraging talk with a dear friend. We talked about all sorts of stuff especially our life dreams and goals. We both admitted that our dreams intimidate us. We share the fear of “How in the world are we going to achieve these goals?!?”
Here is what we came up with to achieve our goals in our short 4 HOUR (sarcasm) discussion:
1. Encourage one another
2. Take baby steps
3. Live one day at a time
4. Trust God
5. Follow your heart
6. Believe in yourself
7. Do NOT give up
8. We have ONE life (on earth), live it up!
9. Step out of your comfort zone
10. And…keep dreaming
I HOPE to do more and more with my art. It’s easy to get discouraged on this journey but I remind myself that I don’t need overnight success. Slow progress is better than no progress, right?!?
Today, I took another baby step in my ‘artist’ journey and set up a booth full of my paintings at a local store. I have to say that I am really proud of myself.
“I dream my paintings and I paint my dreams.” -Vincent Van Gogh
Addiction is a family disease. One person uses but the whole family suffers. This statement holds true for our family. I may not be the addict, but addiction has messed with my thought process. I know I didn’t cause the addiction, I can’t control it, and I can’t cure it. However, addiction has often times left me feeling like a worthless failure of a mom and wife because my family was deteriorating in front of my eyes.
My heart was broken back in November when active addiction sneaked back into our home. I knew it wasn’t a choice to crumble as I had three kids who needed me to be strong. Hitting my rock bottom gave me a solid foundation to start rebuilding my life. I was determined to direct my energy to an area in which I believe I am gifted in, art. Art is very therapeutic and something I thoroughly enjoy. No longer was I going to allow addiction to hold me prisoner of JOY. I was set free with my big dreams.
So here I am two days away from launching my ‘Sarah Turnbaugh Mabry’ paintings at a local craft show. These paintings were all inspired from the HOPE, FAITH, and DREAMS I leaned on during a low season in my life.
“On Christ the rock solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand.”
Last night when I was laying in bed I found myself anxious about our upcoming wedding anniversary. So many thoughts and questions crossed my mind:
“What a year it’s been!”
“Do I really even want to acknowledge our anniversary?”
“Of course we are celebrating! We made it through another year.”
“What if I write about our anniversary and then an addiction bomb drops on our family again? I would be so embarrassed!”I shared my thoughts with John and he calmly responded with, “Practice what you preach. One day at a time.” There is so much truth in that statement. I try really hard to take life one day at a time and to not worry about tomorrow…BUT sometimes it’s just hard and I need reminders! It’s easy for me to let the fear of the future take over my thoughts rather than embracing the present. I constantly have to remind myself that today’s curtain closes when I lay my head on the pillow. Thinking of each day of my life as an act in a play helps me live one day at a time. Sometimes I have to sit and mentally imagine that this day,s ‘act’ will be ending soon. 24 hrs is a lot less overwhelming and worrisome than picturing the rest of my life story.
Lately I have been pondering this thought,
“Is it possible to be a happy-sad person all at the same time?”
If so, I am going to self diagnosis myself as one of the happiest-saddest humans due to the varying range of my emotions. When John relapsed six months ago and moved out, I told myself that I WILL seek JOY through this storm. For the most part I remained hopeful and positive, but there were plenty of moments where I felt great sorrow. In those low moments, it was really hard to feel God’s goodness and presence in my life.
This morning at church I was reminded to see the JOY in life’s trials and to continue to trust God’s plan. Although our marriage and faith were once again tested, both John and myself feel that we are supposed to continue sharing our family’s journey.
“And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
Today a new chapter begins as John moved back home. As our story continues to be written I will remember what I learned through these past six months: that through God it IS possible to be a happy-sad person and feel JOY all at the same time.
#marriage #healing #recovery #painkillers #alcoholism #newbeginning #addiction