Mom & Dad Crash Local High School Prom

Ask anyone who knows me well and they will tell you I am a comfy creature of habit who thrives on the basic fundamental principles of predictability, simplicity and quietness. But I have learned in recent years that having too many reservations, usually stemming from my fear of the unknown, has caused me to miss out on the spontaneous, if not now, then when, possibilities life has to offer me if I just lived in the moment. Can you relate to saying “no” to opportunities you’ve had in the past that could have potentially allowed you to live life to the fullest in fear of the unpredictability when later you regretted not taking the chance? I want to remind you that you only live once. That’s exactly why my 37 year old husband and I decided to crash a local high school prom for no other reason but to say that we got to go to prom together. Note, that we did it before Justin Bieber. He copied our idea. Although our childish antics almost got us busted by police, we now have a memory of a lifetime. Here’s how it all unfolded…

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Sarah c. 2000 …………………….John c. 1996

It was a routinely predictable Saturday evening in the Mabry home: a couple of Redbox movies and a plan to pick up sushi to-go for our in-home date night. My plans got a little risky when I decided I would rather eat my sushi at the restaurant because in my head it tastes much better when it is served on a fancy plate than in a Styrofoam to-go container. We loaded our three kids in the car and headed out for dinner. Exiting the neighborhood we saw several prom couples taking pictures while using the beautiful countryside as their backdrop. John obnoxiously honked our car’s horn and waved to all the couples and their parents. This behavior of his used to really embarrass me but after so many years together it doesn’t get to me anymore! We turned out of the neighborhood and saw dozens of more prom couples making their way into our local Agricultural Center (you know you live in the country when prom is held at the same place as cattle shows and rodeos). Prom was everywhere, we couldn’t escape it!  Jokingly, John and I laughed about how funny it would be to crash a prom as we continued on our way to the sushi restaurant.

Over dinner, we reminisced about our proms. I told John that I wish we could have gone to prom together because I know we would have had a blast! That’s when the spark went off. John and I looked at each other and knew in that moment that we HAD to do it. I mean, once you come up with a once in a lifetime idea like this you can’t NOT do it, right? I never used to think like this; like I said, I thrive on predictability. But John said, “If not now, then when?” While sitting in the booth, I text our babysitter and asked her to come over in 45 minutes, around 7:30 p.m., because we had a prom to crash. Once she confirmed her availability it was on!

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We returned home from the restaurant a little after 7 p.m. John was in charge of putting Sawyer down for bed while I rummaged through our attic in hopes of finding my 15 year old prom dress in one of the many Rubbermaid memorabilia tubs. With only 20 minutes to transform from a mom in workout attire to a prom queen, I hurried from the attic with the dress in hand and into our bedroom to start the makeover. Somehow, someway, I was able to squeeze into my vintage prom dress. The waist was incredibly small but I figured eventually I would go numb and would not feel myself from the waist down and all would be alright. Quickly, I threw my hair into an updo using several bobbi pins and a LOT of hairspray, tossed on some jewelry, and gobbed on the makeup. I was ready to go!

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While John dug out his tux from the closet and was getting dressed, I sprung to the garage to find some old plastic flowers in my craft bin to make a boutonniere and corsage using scotch tape and safety pins. The door bell rang and the babysitter had arrived. Our impromptu prom was about to begin! Our babysitter snapped a few shots of us before we headed out for the night. Lord only knows what she was thinking of us…and what she told her parents about us.

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John opened the car door for me like a true Prince Charming and we headed over to the Ag Expo Center to hang with the cool kids. Being known as a goody two shoes rule follower, I nervously asked John how exactly we were going to pull this stunt off since we didn’t have tickets. He said, “Just trust me!  I’ll figure it out when we get there.” I should know better than to trust this risk taker! But heck, you only live once, right?

After parking down by the dark loading area of the building, John explored the property and found a side door that was unlocked. He motioned me to follow him. My heart was thumping out of my chest as I thought of how I was going to explain to my family and friends how I got arrested and why I was wearing a 15 year old prom dress in my mugshot. John attempted to comfort me by saying, “Chill out, Sarah! We aren’t sneaking into the Academy Awards. This is a high school prom being held at an agricultural center!”  We entered the building in a pitch black area, as the dance floor was curtained off at the far side of the building. We were only a few yards away from our grand entrance when John grabbed my hand and calmly said, “We have a ‘prom’blem! I think Paul Blart is after us in his stealth mode golf cart!” Trying not to have a panic attack, we quickly exited the building. John immediately started looking for another side entrance when I told him, “No! We’re not going back in. Enough is enough!” So, we headed over to the main entrance and hung out there with the real prom goers for a little while to get a better taste of the festivities.

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You should have seen their faces when we explained that we are a married couple in our 30’s with three kids who decided to crash a prom. They were like, “Dudes, you guys are awesome!” There were several police on duty who were searching cars with flash lights and looking for suspicious activity…which would be us. Being the mature people that we are (sarcasm), we decided that it would probably be a wise idea to leave and continue on with our own prom night.

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I wanted to be the Prom Queen so we drove up to the Dollar Tree and invested in a tiara. Low and behold, Planet Fitness was having a grand opening next door with a beautiful balloon arch, which happened to make the perfect backdrop for our formal prom picture!  As the freshly crowned Prom Queen, we asked a passer-by to capture this endearing moment for us.

No prom is complete without some dancing so we went on a mission to find a place that would provide a party environment. We cruised by the bowling alley in hopes that Cosmic Bowl (glow in the dark bowling) would be in full swing. It would have been the perfect place to get our party on and attempt some cool dance moves we picked up from watching amputee Noah Galloway and his partner Sharna Burgess on Dancing with the Stars! Unfortunately, Cosmic Bowl didn’t start till 10 p.m. When you are in your mid-30’s, paying a babysitter and have 3 small children that wake up bright and early, 10 p.m. was way too late for these prom posers! So, we resorted to plan B.

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Plan B consisted of creating our own dance floor on our back deck by plugging in our kids’ lava lamp and a green tinted light bulb. Once again, we put our wonderful babysitter to work and asked her to snap a few more pictures for us as keepsakes for our memorable night of Prom 2015. I had an absolute blast with my handsome prom date and I am glad we took initiative to live in the moment and make such a crazy idea actually happen. We might have been fifteen years late but better late than never, right?!?

Our original, predictable plan for a Saturday night of take-out and a movie quickly turned into the unexpected, just like life often does. As John experienced first hand from his car accident in 2000 (he was laid up in a Texas ICU fighting to save his leg when I was going to my real prom in Illinois), everything can change in the blink of an eye. I am so grateful that he is alive today and able to share the following life lessons with me…

Nobody is guaranteed tomorrow.

Everyday is a gift so be sure to rejoice and be glad in it.

You only live once, so take some risks and live your life to the fullest. You may not have another chance.

Remember, if not now, then when?

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The Great Leprechaun of OZ

I am going to let you in on the ‘Behind the Scenes’ making of Mabry Living’s latest YouTube video, The Great Leprechaun of OZ.  Many people asked about the makeup from our Super Bowl & Katy Perry Threaten Groundhog’s Day video, so I figured it might be interesting to share how our characters come to life.

I transform our bathroom into my makeup artist studio.  This is where I do my specialty, face paint.  One-by-one my clients come in and take a seat in the chair.  I try to work as quickly as possible because my little munchkins tend to get antsy and start to smear the paint.  Touch-ups are usually a must!

First up, Austin.  Today I will be making Austin a Scarecrow.

 

Larson’s next.  For this video I will be transform him into a Lion.  He look thrilled, doesn’t he?  I’m sure this will come back to haunt me when he sees a therapist as a young adult or something and says, “It all goes back to my mom.  She used to dress me up and paint my face like the lion in the Wizard of OZ.

 

Last but not least, the star himself.  I turned John into The Great Leprechaun of Oz, complete with orange and red eyebrows and beard.

 

Here’s a few of the finished products

John Sarah Mabry of OZ
Mabry family Wizard of OZ

 

Thanks for stopping by to check out my behind the scenes look into how I created the characters for this video.  Be sure to subscribe to my blog for new content you won’t find anywhere else.

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Mom and dad compete in homemade American Ninja Warrior course

Today, for the first time ever, I am pulling all the skeletons out of the closet and disclosing the greatest secret ever told about the Mabry family.  It’s a secret John and I have guarded so closely that our three kids don’t even know about it. Our kids are actually the ones that inspired us to create our undercover activity.  Before I reveal the shocking details that you don’t want to miss, let me give you a little background explaining how it all came to be.IMG_3376

One seemingly mundane day, I sat on our green micro suede couch with one of our three-legged dogs hovering over my shoulder.  I was busy getting caught up on the most current events on my Facebook news feed (a.k.a. my social world in this stage of life). I glanced up from my phone with that glazed-over zombie stare to the realization that a bomb had gone off in my house and I had no recollection of how and when it happened.  As my mind started to refocus on the real world from the Facebook fog and Instagram illusions, I noticed my boys busily playing next to me.  They were flailing around and giggling with that most innocent of child laughter.  Baby Sawyer was on the ground playing with a drawer full of toys while making her all too frequent high-pitched squeaky whine, similar to a teapot squealing when the water hits the boiling point.  The boys repeatedly asked if they could use my phone to serve as a stop watch to time themselves on the ninja obstacle course they had been building while I was lost in online land.  Didn’t they understand that my phone was my escape from reality?  Did they really think I was going to give it up so that I could actually be present with them in my own home?  After so much nagging, I gave in as they confiscated my phone.

Without my phone, I was forced to actually look at my sons (and daughter) and observe what they were doing.  What I saw was pure, FREE, child-inspired creativity and joy.  Not the kind of excitement that comes from getting a new LIKE on a post or a re-pin on Pinterest, but unadulterated innocence.  What I originally perceived as a bomb going off in my house was actually an elaborate American Ninja Warrior obstacle course using couch cushions and other props that circulated through the whole house.  I sat back on the one cushion left on the couch and watched as the boys’ deliciously sticky fingers smeared dried syrup all over my walls and furniture as they conquered their DIY spider wall obstacle.

My siblings: Mark, Katie & Melissa

My siblings: Mark, Katie & Melissa

I can remember how fun it was to let my imagination take me places out of my reality with my siblings.  Now, as I sat on my couch moping about not being able to stare at my phone and at how the kids had destroyed my house, it occurred to me that it is happening…I was becoming one of those people…I think they are called grown ups!  “Oh, no!” I thought.  I’ve lost my imagination and joy.  I’ve somehow turned into a grown up!”

This scary observation really made me think!  Do I really want to miss out on the fun going on all around me as I sit behind my iPhone worrying about what my home looks like and what everyone thinks of me?  The answer is a resounding NO!

That’s when it occurred to me that sometimes kids are my role models.  Kids are pure hearted people who have not been effected by the negativity of the world.  Kids accept who God created them to be and are not worried what others may think of them.  Adults should look up to children and allow their inner child to come out more often!  I decided that day that I was going to make it a goal to break down walls I had built around my inner child.  It’s been awhile since my own childhood and I was a little rusty on knowing where to begin.  I decided the easiest way to start would be to copy what my children modeled for me.

So without further ado, here’s our dirty little secret…

John and I are actually ninjas!

John Sarah Mabry Bio

Here’s how it usually all goes down in our house…

As soon as the boys are off at school and Sawyer is down for her nap, John and I take our skeletons, I mean ninja clothes, out of the closet and throw our grown-up mindset out the window.  We quickly change into our gear, get stretched out, and pump ourselves up for a fierce battle of speed, endurance, and mental focus.  Before challenging each other in a timed race through the finish line of our very own obstacle course, we pump up the jam of Ninja tunes.  Making a drum roll sound with our tongues, we proceed to introduce one another as though we were contestants on the popular show, America Ninja Warriors: Mom & Dad Edition.  Our inner child behaviors are in full force and not to be reckoned with during this time.

The anticipation skyrockets as I approach the starting point.  I take a few minutes to center myself before I begin the overwhelmingly difficult course.  It’s supposedly the hardest course in Ninja history, you know.  Ready…set…go!

The first stage started with the dreaded Quintuple Pillow Poppers, where we had to leap from pillow to pillow over the couch, followed by the Jumping Sticky Syrup Spider Wall.  The syrup on the wall is, of course, from our kids eating pancakes with their hands in the living room.  Next our agility and grace was tested as we had to contort our bodies to make it around the Teetering Log Towers.

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The second stage of the course consisted of the Mighty Mt. Midoriyama Unstable Balance Bridge of couch cushions and the Rapid Descent Somersault over the caked-with-gooey-globs-of-grossness coffee table.

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The third and final stage was the most grueling stage of all.  We had to dig down deep to crawl under the Highchair of Hell, swing through the Kitchen Counter Cliff Hanger, and finish by shimmying up the second and final Spider Climb before breaking through to the finish line.

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And the champion is…..Me, Sarah!  I finished the course in a record time of 58 seconds.  Wow!  Doing this was so freeing by allowing my unguarded inner child to come out and play.  Some might think this activity,and my other blogs and videos, are extremely immature.  However, I have to disagree and here’s why.

Just two short days ago I was in tears over the fact that I didn’t know if what I’m trying to do here at MabryLiving.com – putting my true self out there in an effort to inspire and entertain others through my unorthodox approach to life – is what I’m supposed to be doing with my life.  I was seriously struggling with the fact that putting silly stuff like this goes against everything the world demands of us grown ups.  It isn’t normal.  It isn’t what someone in the 30’s with a college degree should be doing with their time, right?  Well, I finally came to terms with this simple fact…I can’t care if you think I’m immature or wasting my time.  I’m following my heart right now.  It’s the greatest gift I can myself and I’m learning it from my kids.

Look, I know from personal experience that life can be really rough and it can be easy to plow through it being overly cautious and too uptight.  I understand that there are seasons where we all have to be, and should be, grown ups and tackle events with the utmost seriousness and respect they deserve.  Yet, there are also a lot of times where it is okay to let your guard down and see how magical life truly is when viewed with a child-like perspective.  The way I see it is that I have one earthly life to live, so I plan on living it to the fullest, allowing myself to feel my true, unguarded feelings without reservations as to what other people think or say about me.

I’d like to leave you with one final thought…go, right now, and pull that stick out of your bottom and do something to release your inner child, even if it’s just for a minute.  Sing a U2 song completely out of tune at the top of your lungs, dance a gig like a leprechaun who just found a pot of gold, or go ahead and take my idea and build a ninja obstacle course.  Your inner child needs to come out and will thank you for it.

Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw said it perfectly,

“People do not cease to play because they grow old: They grow old because they cease to play.” 

Subscribe to my blog so you don’t miss out on my upcoming quirky St. Patrick’s Day post.

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How to give yourself a Mommy Make-Under

Have you ever wondered how some women, especially moms, have superhero powers that can transform them from one of class and sophistication into washed-up old hags in minutes?  Like Superman ripping off his reporters’ suit and nerdy glasses to reveal the superhero he truly is underneath, I also have such mystical powers to alter other people’s perceptions of who I can appear to be 2% of the time (classy and sophisticated) into who I truly am 98% of the time (a repulsive-looking soccer mom).  There’s no need to search Google and Pinterest for days on the best how-to practices for achieving this eye-popping, unicorn-esque look where people can’t stop staring at you. I, Sarah Mabry, am here to personally teach YOU how to accomplish this one of kind look through my patented 13½ step process designed to give yourself what I call the “Mommy Make-Under.”

The biggest misconception of the Mommy Make-Under is that it’s only for ladies with kids.  Boy, do I have great news for you!  Anyone, even YOU, college sorority girl, registered nurse, administrative assistant, and grandma, can sport this all too trendy look that’s sweeping the suburbs.  Now don’t get discouraged if after following these simple 13½ steps you don’t look like you got hit by a train like I do, as results will vary.  The main thing is that you take it one step at a time, as my Mommy Make-Under program is delicately designed to build from one step to the next.  I’m only offering these closely guarded secrets for free here exclusively on MabryLiving.com for a limited time until my self-published book is released this summer.  One final recommendation before we get stated: I highly recommend that you document yourself at the beginning of Step One.  I also recommend you contact your dentist because there’s a good chance no one will be able to identify you when you get to Step 13½ without dental records.  Grab a cocktail and some bonbons because here we go!

Step 1:

Actually take a shower, wash your face, shave, floss, brush your teeth, clean your ears, moisturize your skin, pluck your eyebrows, apply make up, dry and style your hair, and dress in a cute outfit, being sure to accessorize with jewelry.

Step 2: 

Snap that selfie, you animal!  Remember, there’s a good chance you won’t look (or smell) like this again for years.

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Step 3:

Not going to lie, this step takes commitment.  Don’t do ANY of the things outlined in Step 1 for a minimum of four days.

Step 4:

Allow those nice greasy layers of “Crisco Glow,” as I call them to accumulate on your hair, which is mandatory for the messy mommy-tail (or ponytail) outlined in Step 9.

Step 5: 

Through years of well-documented scientific testing** I found that leg hair length at day four of the Mommy Make-Under process has the perfect amount of prickliness to them.  It’s not too short, not too long, but just right.  My testing also revealed that eyebrow bushiness after four days of not being plucked take on that perfect, organic contour we’re all after.  In case you missed it: shaving and plucking are No-No’s.

** The only animals harmed during testing were groundhogs. CLICK HERE to see the video of the effects testing had on them.

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Step 6:

This is where the effects of the Make-Under really start to gel.  Take off that precious jewelry you got as a gift from your significant other or passed down from your grandma; you won’t be needing it where you’re going.  Where are you going, you ask?  Well, you’re going to be busy playing football, house, basketball, dolls, wrestling, dress up, sword fighting, watching the same movie 20 times in a row, cooking, cleaning, scrapping kids’ boogers off of faces (your kids’ faces and your own face), cutting gum out of hair, and the endless job of cleaning poop off of every imaginable body part and household surface you can think of…and a handful you never knew existed.  Additionally, jewelry serves as a choking hazard; it will get tugged on during these events causing chains to snap, beads to spill, and diamonds to chip (which actually happened to my diamond).  It’s not worth the risk.  So lose the jewelry, little miss Cinderella wannabe!

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Step 7:

By now you’re probably starting to realize you can stop trying to look put-together.  You know those expensive, fitted outfits you spent your spouses’ Father’s Day money on in retaliation for getting pee in your mouth when changing your son’s diaper that your husband was supposed to change but didn’t because he was “watching the most important football game of the year?”  Throw them in that heap on your floor of your bedroom that won’t be tended to for at least two more weeks and slip into something a little more comfy and realistic.

Step 8:

Instead of “big people” clothes, I recommend a soft, CapriSun-stained tattered cotton shirt and a cozy pair of over-sized sweatpants with crusty spit up stains.  Do it quickly because you’re needed immediately in the kitchen to prepare the fourth freaking snack of the morning for your ungrateful snots, I mean perfect angels,  Make sure your brats, I mean precious mini-me’s, dangle from your shirttail with their sticky, grubby paws.  For you vintage enthusiasts out there, this enhances that distressed princess look.

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Step 9:

Quickly flop that Crisco-glowing messy mommy-tail (or bun if you prefer) that we started working on days ago somewhere on your head.  By this time your hair is guaranteed to have baby food and other unidentifiable objects strung throughout.

Step 10:

Gingerly attempt to finger comb through the gunk to secure your messy mommy-tail for a highly personalized look.  To perfect it, make sure there are plenty of lumps and randomly placed Bobbi-pins to hold back any loose clumps.

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Step 11:

Take your make up off!  Wait till most of your make up is under your eyes  before you remove all of it.This helps to polish the exhausted mom look.  Good job.  You’re almost done.

Step 12:

Feverishly wrestle your expensive glasses from your little Gremlins.  Now the lenses should be nice and blurry.  Who needs to see?  You couldn’t see even if you wanted to from the delirium of the day that never ends.  Put them on anyway so you feel like you’re at least trying to see (and care) what’s going on at this point.  The permanently crooked frames are a perfect match for your ever-digressing ensemble that has now become your staple look.

Step 13:

Hold on to your newly broken glasses because this step is where the Mommy Make-Under crescendos with the addition of the always stylish baby wrap.  A Bjorn or hiking backpack are acceptable forms of touting your screaming, teething baby around the house. makeunder

Step 13½:

Buy the book!  Don’t delay because the first 2 people to pre-order my book will receive a free used rancid smelling, unraveling, crusty baby wrap.

Well, there’s actually not a book.  Maybe I’ll make a DVD series instead.  But seriously, this blog is for entertainment purposes only so don’t anticipate an actual book on this subject…like…ever.

Voila!  There you have it.  Congrats on your new look.  I knew you could pull it off.  With a little TLC you should be able to foster this trendy style for years to come.  Be sure to post your selfies of your best attempt at a Mommy Make-Under to the Mabry Living Facebook page.  The winner will receive a free book.

*If you are you not happy with these results, you can follow my son’s instructions on how to do the proper Mommy Makeover.

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How I lost my soul and my family when I won my Oscar

Have you ever caught yourself daydreaming of an escape from the reality your life to find a better, easier, or more exciting one with less problems?  As a wife and mother of three young kids, I often romanticize about having everything done for me by my own personal assistant, or “wife,” if you will.  And sometimes my fantasy goes as far as wishing for an A-list lifestyle so that I could hire someone to do everything for me.  Imagine What’s Possible (see how I worked in the theme of this year’s Oscars? Clever, huh?)!  The thought of the hair, the makeup, the jewelry, the red carpet attention, and the parties sounds like such a relief from the nonstop cooking and cleaning, scrubbing poop off the walls and boogers off the couch, doesn’t it?  After living out my fantasy for a few days I realized that maybe the average, normal life I currently have isn’t so bad after all.  When I really think about it, I’m playing the greatest role ever written for the script of life – that of a wife and mother.  It is the perfect character fit for me; it’s the one I was born to play and one I wouldn’t trade for any amount of gold.

Ok, so here’s my crazy story of how I won a real Oscar and all my dreams came true…so I thought.  After reading my horrific tale of love and betrayal by the only one I thought I could truly trust – my Oscar – you might find yourself questioning whether a new life promised by the glitz and glam of the City of Angels is worth losing the perfect life God has given you right here, right now.

sarahandoscarIt was a snowy February night when I drifted off to LA LA land with visions of Oscars dancing in my head.  Before I knew it I had slipped into a lucid state of dreaming and had landed smack dab in the middle of Tinseltown during the biggest celebration of film and movies of the year – the 87th Academy Awards.  As I waltzed down the red carpet in my dazzling Dior blue chiffon dress, Stuart Weitzman shoes, and Harry Winston jewelry, I was bombarded with blinding flashes from paparazzi and reporters.  “Who are you wearing!?!” they all screamed.  It was truly an out-of-body experience, especially compared to the seemingly mundane, predictable life I am used to here in the suburbs of Nashville.  The next thing I knew I was gliding up the grand staircase of Hollywood’s Dolby Theatre where my front row seat awaited me.  Neil Patrick Harris opened the show with a spectacular number showcasing his Broadway-sized charm, sense of humor and impeccable acting and dancing skills.  Then the awards presentation began.

As I nervously waited in my seat, a live shot of me appeared on the big screen, as I was being recognized as a nominee for my supporting role in my Katy Perry / Groundhog Day movie produced by Mabry Productions.  If you’re one of the few who hasn’t seen my riveting performance, you can catch it HERE.  The drum roll started as presenter, Bradley Cooper, began to announce, “…And the winner for BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS is……..Sarah Mabry!”  In total shock, I quickly gathered myself, hugged John, and tried not to fall on my face as I made my way up the stairs to accept my very own Oscar.  I recited my memorized speech with simple eloquence, being sure to thank everyone on my team.  Everything was pretty much a blur from there.  The after parties were still in full swing as the sun rose over the Hollywood hills, but it was time for me to get home to my family.  I grabbed my Oscar and we jetted to LAX to catch the next flight out of town.  It felt as though I struck gold!

The next thing I knew I awoke in the Grand Budapest Hotel.  The hotel room looked oddly similar to my bedroom at home including my two 3-legged dogs, but one thing was completely different.  My very own Oscar had come to life and softly greeted me with a, “Good morning, Mrs. Sarah.  I take it you slept well,”  as he handed me a warm, freshly brewed vanilla latte in bed.  Ahhhhhh!  It was apparent my Oscar had a heart of gold and was here to help me escape my real life for a better, happier one where someone takes care of me for once.

latteNext, Oscar insisted I continue to relax as he graciously gave me a deep tissue massage.  Oscar had already earned his weight in gold with these two simple gestures.

massageBut he didn’t stop there.  Like my own personal beautician, Oscar set up a spa in my bathroom and shaped my eyebrows, applied a mud mask and ran a warm bath for me  He’s so dreamy!  It was like I had found a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.

pluckTime had flown by!  I suddenly realized I hadn’t taken my dogs out to use the restroom because of all the pampering.  Oscar enthusiastically jump at the opportunity to take the dogs out for me so I wouldn’t get cold in the wintry mix outside.  Still in my dreamy state, I strolled down to a quaint, cozy corner of the Budapest Hotel to read a book while sipping my latte.  Could this really be my new life?  As long as Oscar didn’t pinch and wake me up I told him he could live with me forever; I knew I was sitting on a gold mine.

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My dream suddenly shifted back to my home.  Our family adored our new cast, I mean, family member.  John even got in on this action sequence.  He had Oscar tuning up his prosthetic leg, trimming his nose hair, taking out the trash and even scrapping cat poop off our garage floor.  Oscar’s such a natural with kids, too!  I overheard them playing The Imitation Game called ‘Oscar Says,’ upstairs.  The boys’ giggles echoed down the hall as they tried to mimic everything Simon, I mean, Oscar commanded.  He also kindly helped my boys embrace their Boyhood by playing monster, camping in the back yard, and teaching them about sports.

Up to this point, my winning a real Oscar was proving to be the best thing that had ever happened to me; it was better than winning a gold medal in the Olympics.  He did everything one would expect a perfect housewife to do.  As John and I sat back, we felt we finally made it to a place of true inner peace and happiness.  But like they say, all that glitters isn’t gold.  Before long, things started to unravel pretty quickly.  Oscar strangely broke character and began stealing the show by acting out scenes from all the best films of the year.

For instance, he didn’t show up one morning to cook the kids’ breakfast.  As I was pouring milk for the boys’ cereal, I glanced out our kitchen bay window and almost got Whiplash from what I saw unfolding; it was Oscar perched outside looking like a Birdman or something.

John Mabry as Birdman

Then, Oscar started chasing after our sweet amputee dog.  He tackled Finley and started wrestling him, like he had suddenly taken on the character of a Foxcatcher.

John Mabry Foxcatcher

A scene I will never forget came when I found that Oscar had been hoarding a bunch of boxes underground to play out a premeditated scenario that made me fear for my family’s safety. He was convinced he was an American Sniper and that the Boxtrolls were after him.John Mabry American Sniper

The final straw was when I found him stealing money from my kids’ piggy bank.  As hard as it was to say, I had no choice but to admit that my trophy wife was nothing but a gold digger.  At this point I could have really used a Big Hero Six to rescue me and take my Oscar away so I could live in peace with my family.  At that exact moment John, Larson, and Austin came to my rescue.  In the greatest fight scene ever, they took Oscar down in dramatic fashion with their plastic swords and toy guns.  What does one do with a life size pure gold Oscar award?…what any smart family would. So we melted Oscar down, took molds of our teeth, and finally got those new grills we’ve been wanting.

mabry gold grill

What’s the whole point of this, you ask?  The moral of the story is this…

Oscar had been brainwashed by an entire industry his whole life.  Since the time he was born he was told he must fit a certain mold, look a certain way, perform his lonely, miserable job functions, and do exactly what every Oscar who came before him did.  He grew up being taught that if he ever broke character and exposed his real emotions and authentic self, everyone would judge him.  He’s no different than the millions of people out there who do not feel they can truly be themselves or pursue the jobs or hobbies their heart tells them to follow simply out of fear of what others will think.  You’ll find people, maybe even yourself, playing the role some “casting director” (parent, spouse, boss) tells them they should play.  So instead of aligning themselves with who God made them to be, instead of their soul coming to life on the “big screen” of existence, they stay stuck in their own never-ending horror film of fear, pain and resentment.  All this does is rob the world of the super stardom they already have inside of them.

What I learned from this experience is that, as the Theory of Everything goes, the grass isn’t always gold-er, I mean greener, on the other side.  Although the thought of winning my own personal Oscar sounded great at first, missing out on the limited hands-on, loving moments I have to spend with my family is just too precious to put into the hands of a fictitious golden child like Oscar.  I am reminded that I have already won the greatest award a person can be given – the infinite love of my God and my family – and that’s all I truly need.

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A 1-legged amputee on a 2-wheel scooter in the house spells disaster!

The used scooter we got for John to use had a faulty throttle. You know when they say, “Don’t try this at home?” Well, John did, in the house, and this is what happened.

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A Mom dresses like Elsa to teach son not to give a poop what other people think

There is a highlight video at the end of this blog you probably don’t want to miss. But we don’t give a poop if you watch it or not. 

I previously blogged about trying to discover my inner “Selfish Sarah” since there isn’t much time for myself as a working/stay-at-home mom of three little kids. Most of my time is spent serving others (which I love) but sometimes I dream of escaping the ongoing demands and pampering myself. I already hired a Glam Squad to give me a Mommy Makeover. Now I would like for a prince to come sweep me off my feet and treat me like a princess for a day. It just so happens that such an opportunity arose. It involves potty training and me dressing up like Elsa from Disney’s Frozen to be paraded around the mall by none other than Superman himself. What ever you do, don’t stop reading now. It’s about to get real interesting. Here’s how it all unfolded…underpants head

Once upon a time, there was a very special man in my life who was working harder than ever to achieve the greatest milestone in his life. He had to push himself to the limits. After years of work he was able to flush out the fears that plagued him since childhood to become a new person; the kind of guy I always knew he could be. Now most of you probably assume I am talking about my husband, John. You might also assume I’m talking about his dream of writing a book, doing mission work in a third world country or creating a more advanced prosthetic for amputees. Well, you’re wrong. Who I’m really taking about my #2 man, my son, Austin and his four year journey to achieve potty training proficiency.

This life-altering odyssey has been YEARS in the making. Austin finally decided to make an honest attempt to take care of his business. But every time he sat on the royal throne he would become FROZEN. Although I couldn’t always smell change in the air, I have stood by his side since the beginning of this torturous journey. There were countless times when my potty mouth wanted to consume me. But I didn’t let these dirty words get the best of me. Instead, I would cry out to Austin, “LET IT GO, let it go, don’t hold it back anymore!” I offered all sorts of bribery to help encourage him to move closer to wiping away all the obstacles blocking him from his doody. His head just seemed backed up with fear. NOTHING was working!

Then one day the blockage gave way. Austin looked up at me with his big blue eyes while sitting on his porcelain La-Z-Boy and said, “Mommy, when I am potty trained I want you to dress up like Elsa and I want to go on a date with you to the mall.  Also, I want to dress up like Superman so I can keep you safe.”  Ah HA!  Finally, I had bribery that would work!  I had been so desperate to find some sort of motivation that I reached a point where I would do anything for TRUE LOVE potty training mastery.

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The day had finally arrived when my Superman-Charming was ready to sweep me off my feet. I anxiously transformed from the rarely-appreciated, under-rested and over-stressed mom that I am into a real life Elsa. My chariot, I mean Buick SUV, sat ready to gallantly transport us from our house in the suburbs to the most magical place little Austin’s mind could imagine – the Cool Springs Galleria Mall. I wasn’t quite done morphing into a princess but when you gotta go, you gotta go!  So we loaded up the carriage to head to our royally planned event.

The chariot wasn’t quite what I expected. It wasn’t the sparkling white horse-drawn carriage I had envisioned in my dreams since I was little girl. It wasn’t encrusted with priceless jewels or encircled with fairy dust. Instead, it had a pungent mysterious smelling odor that royally stunk. The unforgettable decor included carpet that was shellacked with fish of gold (a.k.a. Goldfish) and fingerprint art smudged all over the windows. These are details I hadn’t noticed in the Disney movies before but it was all coming to life in my own personal mommy tale.

When we arrived at the ball, I mean mall, I was escorted by my Superman-Charming, through the food court entrance. It was such an honor to hold his hand as we headed to our first stop, the mall playground.

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Austin took me for a thrill ride on his reindeer, Sven, and his police motorcycle. I have to say I had never been more scared. I almost pooped my pants! Thank goodness for Superman’s bulging muscles to comfort me.

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Then we headed over to Payless, because that’s where Cinderella supposedly gets her shoes, to see if the glass slipper fit.  Sure enough it did!  I knew in that moment that Austin was my knight in shining armor a Superman muscle max costume.IMG_3096As we continued gliding through the mall we came upon something that caught our attention!  It was me. So we had to stop and take a picture. I don’t remember posing with Anna but I am guessing it was back in the day when I used to bleach my hair with a bunch of Sun-In and before I had three kids because my waist is oddly small in this poster compared to the size of my head. 

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Next we danced into Hallmark where Superman Austin got down on one knee and asked if I would accept his chocolate rose. Being The Bachelor fan that I am, I gladly accepted the rose. I just told him that I get to pick what we do on our next date.

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While at Hallmark, I found a book about myself that I just couldn’t put down. I kept reading hoping that I would get to the point in the story line where I meet my prince charming, but I knew I wouldn’t find that out til Chapter 3, thanks to my friend Belle from Beauty and the Beast. We didn’t have enough time for me to read that much because we were getting hungry. We raced to the food court and got the runs hoping to get there faster.

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On our way to our fine dining experience, we made a quick stop at Build-A-Bear so I could get Austin a little gift from Elsa. Lately, we have continuously seen the Build-A-Bear commercial that shows bears repeatedly saying, “I love you, I love you” and I thought that would be the perfect gift to put into his best friend, Super Bear.  While we were there, I noticed that they even had an Elsa bear! IMG_3108

We treated ourselves to a fancy Italian dish from Sbarros Pizza. My heart was melting as we sat upon our stools slurping spaghetti noodles from the same bowl and gazing into each others eyes like in Lady and the Tramp. So romantic!

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Our date wrapped up with a trip to his workplace so he could take care of some lingering business before our carriage came to pick us up and get us home before midnight.IMG_3117

I am so proud of my royal hiney and I had such a great time with him. My greatest hope is that he doesn’t ever dump me.

The moral of this twisted tale that can only come from the minds of the Mabry’s is simple…

Don’t give a poop what other people think!

So many people’s lives are consumed with stress and anxiety about what other people think of them. We work jobs we hate to make enough money to vainly buy houses/cars/clothes we really can’t afford to impress people we don’t like. It is sickening to me to watch so many people stressing themselves to the max just so they can look good to everyone else, when deep down they don’t even like themselves. If each individual spent more time focusing on themselves instead of everyone else, the world would be a much happier place.

Here is the highlight video you probably don’t want to miss. But we don’t give a poop if you watch it or not. 

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