My intention for creating Mabry Living was to have an outlet to let my voice be heard and to share my views and experience through our family’s journey. I want to be truthful, raw, hopeful, and inspiring through my writing. I find writing to be very therapeutic in my healing process and that is why I do what I do. Releasing my truth frees me and my hope is that it may touch someone else in a similar situation.
With that being said, our family has been attacked again by the terrible monster, ADDICTION. I truly despise this disease. Just when I feel like I am getting to a point that my heart is starting to mend, addiction swoops into our home like a seagull, sh#*s everywhere, steals my husband and my trust, leaving me to clean up all the mess. I am no doctor, but I believe addiction to be a spiritual related disease. To me, the Devil sees that our family is thriving, healing, mending, loving, and living a God focused life. Nothing fuels the Devil’s fire more than seeing a family overcoming obstacles, never giving up, and growing stronger as a family unit. Boy, does this just piss him off! When our inner lights shine brighter every new day with God’s love, the Devil must shrivel up and throw a tantrum. Yet, somehow, someway, he still finds an entrance into our home and attacks with all of his power. What he isn’t catching on to is that every time he tries to destroy our lives, it only makes me strong in my faith and a tougher warrior. Hanging right in my closet is my armor of God. It’s not the most stylish look, but I am going to rock it every day and make it the new fashion trend…just you wait and see!
Yesterday, the Devil swung the door open into our lives and made his grand entrance. The ‘door’ had been ajar for a few days and I tried to slam it shut but addiction was serving as the door stopper, blocking me from turning the lock and dead bolting the door. However, just because the Devil is present in our home does NOT mean that he won the war! I will continue to fight this battle without ceasing with the help of God’s angel army and a whole lot of prayer warriors. Luckily, I also have my boys’ Spiderman boxing gloves, Dollar Tree nunchucks, Nerf Guns, and plastic brass knuckles to use if needed!
All of this sucks, I just hate it! Addiction has stolen so much from me in the past and I refuse to let it rob me of anything else in my life. I am making the choice today to seek joy, trust God, reach out for help from friends and professionals, and do my best to continue moving forward in life with my head held high. I am going to try…keyword TRY…to not let the fear of the future consume me. Living one day at a time will allow me stay present in this chapter of my life’s story. Why should I fear of how my story will end when I am not even there yet (please remind me of this on the hard days, friends and family)? God is the author and he already knows how my storybook ends and I have comfort knowing he will be walking along side me through every life chapter.
Am I scare? Yes
Am I sad? Yes
Am I angry? Yes
Am I hopeful? Yes
Do I still love John (my husband)? Yes, with all of my heart.
Do I think God can use this situation for his good? ABSOLUTELY!
This morning I contemplated if I should stop Mabry Living all together, drop out of my upcoming craft show, and not redo my family room (which I am in the middle of redecorating and something that makes me very happy). It only took a second before I heard my soul screaming, “NO! YOU MUST KEEP GOING! Continue LIVING, LAUGHING, and LOVING.” So, here I am this afternoon sharing a post I prayed I would never ever have to write.
To all the prayer warriors out there, please lift our family up in your prayers. Thank you!